Hilarious 37 Witty Super Bowl Jokes 2021 – Loading…
There is nothing quite like a well-prepped Super Bowl house event. Locked into your screen and with your friends in tow, you can go for days soaking up the Super Bowl season. This is especially true for seniors. We have had our share of super bowl seasons. We know how to prepare. If you are a seasoned fan, you probably have your personal fan gear or regalia in order. But there’s something else to prepare… We are all familiar with super funny NFL jokes to crack with your fellow seniors. So to help lead you up to the Super Bowl. No need to go digging for jokes to bowl your fan friends over. We’ve compiled over 37 Witty Super Bowl Jokes. Share these with your friends and family, and other fans… share the super bowl spirit
Super Bowl – Funny Quotes
1. It’s a toss
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go to church or a football game. So, my friend Tim decided to toss a coin. It took 9 tosses to finally decide that we’d be going to the game.
2. Strength in numbers
Football fans are strange: 22 strong men run around a field for at least two hours. All this while, 50 000 people who probably don’t exercise – sit and cheer in stands and watch these men sweat.
3. Miles ahead
My coach was always ahead of the pack. All the other coaches were far behind. In fact, when they started a two-platoon system, my coach Jerry had a three-platoon system. One for offense, another for defense, and the other one went to extra classes.
4. Losing team tactics
A team had lost yet another game. They kept losing.
One day, the coach of the team decided to march on a field at half-time alongside the band. As he did, a majorette who had thrown a baton up into the air dropped it.
Immediately, a fan of the opposition nestled in the crowd shouted, “Hey, I see you coach the band too!”
5. Strategy mindset
Football would be super interesting if we gave each quarterback more to think about. So, if we give each of them a heap of coconut and custard pies to eat before the game, they’d think more about heading to the toilet than winning. It’s a recipe for success!
37 Witty Super Bowl Jokes: Here Are a Few More NFL Jokes…
And If that wasn’t enough, we have a few more super bowl jokes for you to share. These are quick jokes that you can impress your friends with. We admit: These jokes are cheesy, but who says cheesy isn’t funny? Why stop now? We’re on a roll!
6. Q: What kind of tea do Super Bowl football players drink?
A: Penal (tea)
7. Q: What kind of sweet treats are Super Bowl footballers served?
A: They’re served Super Bowl Sundaes!
8. Q: Are there Super Bowl players who can jump higher than any of the goal posts on the field?
A: All Super Bowl footballers can jump higher because – field goal posts can’t jump!
As seniors, we have tons to offer but having an endless supply of jokes is something we need to stock up on. Thankfully, we’re only getting started now. There’s so much more to come. We haven’t run out of super bowl jokes just yet!
9. Q: Greenwood had something stuck in his teeth during a Super Bowl game. What was it?
A: He had a quarterback stuck to his teeth!
10. Knock Knock.
Flip me who?
Flip me the football!
11. Q: There are many footballers, but which one wears the biggest cleats?
A: The footballer with the big feet!
12. Q: Field goal kickers always bring strings to the Super Bowl. Why’s that?
A: Because if they need to, they can tie the score!
13. Q: In the Super Bowl, what runs all around but never moves?
A: A brick wall.
14. Q: What’s the same size as a Lombardi trophy but doesn’t weigh anything?
A: Simple, it’s a shadow.
15. Q: Why do field goal kickers attend ballet lessons?
A: So that they can do the splits upright!
16. Q: Why did the dog not play football?
A: Because it’s a Boxer!
17. Q: Where do Super Bowl players dance?
A: At a foot…ball!
18. Q: How do you light up a football stadium?
A: With a match.
19. Q: Why can’t we have Super Bowl games in outer space?
A: There’s no atmosphere!
20. Q: What makes the best team?
A: The one team without a reserve!
21. Q: Why don’t footballers wear spectacles?
A: Because football is a contact sport!
22. Q: Why is it a bad idea to play football in the jungle?
A: Because the Cheetahs will take you down!
23. Q: Why did the coach head over to the bank?
A: He made inquiries to get his quarterback.
24. Q: Why did the coach sign a ghost to the team?
A: Because the team needed some team spirit!
25. Spot the difference
Do you know the difference between a dollar bill and the New York Jets? Well, you can get four quarters out of a dollar.
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If you’re a great storyteller, here are a few super bowl jokes that will really get your listener’s attention. Gather your fellow seniors and make their day. Let’s keep going…
26. Practice session
The New England Patriots finished a practice session. Walking off the field, they saw a turkey strutting towards them. The turkey was large. The players stood shocked.
The turkey walked up to the coach and sternly said that he wanted a chance to play at the tight end.
All the players stood there in disbelief as the turkey took pass after pass and ran towards the defensive line.
When the turkey returned, the coach was astounded and signed the turkey up for the season and promised the turkey a bonus.
“Forget the bonus,” replied the turkey, “What I want to know is, does your season go past Thanksgiving Day?”
27. Math question
A football coach walked into a changing room and noticed his new player. The coach told the player that he wasn’t meant to have the new player on his team because he had failed math.
As they had no alternative, the new player could play if he correctly answered a math question the coach would ask.
The new player agreed so the coach asked him to concentrate and to carefully answer the question: “What’s 2 plus 2?”
The player thought about the answer for a while and then answered, “4.”
The coach was very excited but as he turned the rest of the team shouted, “Please coach! Give him another chance!”
28. PC wins!
A group of colleagues set up their weekly football pool on the computer. The only setback was that the computer won every time!
29. The proposal
Jack, a college senior, decided to take his girlfriend to a football game.
The game started, and he was excited to let his girlfriend know about the amazing player on the field.
“Watch the player wearing the number 18 jersey. He’ll be our best man next year.” To which his girlfriend replied excitedly, “Oh, honey, that’s such a cute way to propose. I accept!”
30. Booking seats
Tim received a free ticket to the Super Bowl. When he arrived at the stadium, he realized that he was in the last row, way in the back corner of the stadium. Tim decided not to let it dampen his day.
Halfway through the first quarter, he noticed an empty seat not too far away and decided to take a chance. He made his way past the security guards to the seat.
Tim turned to the fan sitting next to him and asked, “Sorry, is this someone’s seat?”
The fan said, “No.”
Tim was pleased with himself for finding such a wonderful seat. He later asked the fan next to him, “Why would anyone give up such an amazing seat at the Super Bowl?”
The fan replied, “Well, the seat you’re sitting on belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come along, but she died. We always attended Super Bowl games but today is the first time I’m not with her at the Super Bowl.”
Tim replied. “I’m so sorry for your loss. Surely, you could’ve found a close friend or relative to join you?”
The fan replied, “Nah, they’ve all gone to her funeral.”
31. Battling it out at the bar
A Jewish guy at a bar says: I have 8 children. If I have another, I’ll have my very own baseball team!
To which the Catholic guy says, “Well if I have one more child, I’ll have 11 children – just enough to make up my very own football team!”
The Mormon sitting in the corner whispers, “Seriously guys, I have 17 wives. Another one and I’ll have a golf course!”
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32. Flipping the coin
A guy got great seats for himself and his girlfriend at a Super Bowl game. It was behind their team’s bench.
The game has ended, and the guy asked his lady if she enjoyed the game. To which she replied, “Oh yes! I loved it so much! Also, I enjoyed the tight pants and strong men with beautiful muscles. And I just don’t understand why they battled each other for a mere 25 cents.”
He was shocked and asked her what she meant exactly.
She explained to him, “Okay, so they flipped a coin, and then one team got it, and thereafter all they did was scream things like, get the quarterback, get the quarterback, and I’m like hello, it’s only 25 cents!“
33. Birds on a field
There was an MIT student. He spent a summer going to Harvard football field every day.
The player wore a black and white striped shirt and fed birdseed to the birds on the field. He then blew a whistle and walked off the field.
When the summer had ended, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle.
The game was then delayed for an entire 30 minutes so that the birds could leave the field. The MIT student wrote his master’s paper on this. He graduated.
34. What’s in a name?
I walked past a billboard for a football team. It was called Chicago Fire. I thought, “Why would you name a team after a tragedy? If so, I’d name a football team the New York Jets!”
35. Britons versus Americans
They say Mom instead of Mum like the Brits
Color instead of Colour
And, of course, fries instead of chips…
Soccer instead of Football
It’s Football instead of Rugby
36. Note in a pocket
Greg was sitting on his porch and watching a football game when his wife came up to him and slapped him.
“Why did you do that?” He asked bewildered.
“I found this in your pocket!” She showed him a handwritten note with the name Sara Mills written on it.
“Oh, that’s the name of a horse I made a bet on,” He shrugged.
After a week, as he sat on his porch watching another football game, his wife walked up and slapped him again.
“What was that for?” He yelled.
“Your horse called.“
37. The eye test…
A lady goes for her annual eye test. Her optician asks her to look into a machine and asks her what she can see.
“I see empty airports, closed theatres, closed pubs, and empty football grounds.”
“Great!” says her eye specialist. “You have 2020 vision!”
That was a whirlwind of 37 Witty Super Bowl Jokes…more than enough one-liners and Super Bowl funny quotes to stock up on your personal stash of funnies.
Top 3 Jokes
Q: Where do Super Bowl players dance?
A: At a foot…ball!
Q: Why is it a bad idea to play football in the jungle?
A: Because the Cheetahs will take you down!
Q: Why did the coach sign a ghost to the team?
A: Because the team needed some team spirit!
It’s been entertaining laughing with you. We hope you’ve had your fill of fantastic NFL jokes. Jokes that will help stir up the Super Bowl spirit in you and among your friends and family. And of course, jokes to share with your grandkids. The type of jokes that seniors enjoy can be fun for those a little younger too. Besides, we can all do with some excitement and downtime.
Reread these 37 Witty Super Bowl Jokes or surf the net for Super Bowl funny quotes to get to know your favorite players better. You may feel a stirring inside you wanting the Super Bowl to start already, but at least you have a few jokes to keep you occupied! We’ll be back next year to top you up!
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