Last Updated on April 14, 2022 by Ian Evans
It is an emotional experience to witness your loved one’s physical and mental condition worsen. During the turmoil of physical health deterioration among seniors, they require more intensive and 24/7 nursing care. Nursing home facilities cater to this particular need of seniors with trained caregivers and professional nurses. As a result, moving to a nursing home facility can be the ideal choice in this situation.
Yet, many seniors do not want to leave the comfort of their own homes and shift to a nursing home facility. A good number of seniors perceive that nursing care homes may not be homely, private, clean, and ideal to live in after retirement. So, what happens when they are not comfortable and refuse to move to nursing homes?
If you are here, you are looking for ways to convince your parents to move to a Nursing Home. Putting your parents in a nursing home against their will is not an option. However, since you know moving them to a nursing home is the best you can do for their well-being, you must convince them first.
Since convincing the loved one to move to a Nursing home can be a sensitive and complicated step, we have compiled all the ways you could try that.
What is A Nursing Home
A Nursing Home is a senior living facility specializing in skilled medical care. This is for patients who have long-term, chronic diseases or severe injuries which may need a long time to recover. Those patients don’t necessarily require hospitalization, but they are not in a condition to live independently or at home.
Nursing homes offer 24/7 medical services and assist seniors with activities of daily living (ADLs) and instrumental activities of daily living (IADLs). They are like an Assisted Living facility with a more intensive and frequent medical service. Non-medical services include washing, cleaning, dressing, helping with navigation, etc.
Some Nursing Homes are designed like hospitals with special care units for people with serious health issues. These types of Nursing homes are usually called Skilled Nursing Facilities (SNFs). SNFs are for shorter stays compared to those designed to feel at home. They support seniors who require frequent therapeutic and medical rehabilitation sessions.
Unlike in SNFs, most of the residents in Nursing Homes spend the remaining part of their lives there. As a result, the staffs develop emotional bonding with the residents. This has been a key factor in nursing homes gaining popularity recently. According to NCBI, around 4.5 percent (about 1.5 million) of seniors live in Nursing Homes.
Importance of Nursing Homes
Nursing Homes are well equipped with medical instruments. They also provide various services to the seniors to assist with Activities of Daily Living (ADLs). They offer full-time care, skilled nursing availability, and medical supervision.
Signs your parents need a Nursing Home
There are quite a few signs that may imply that it’s time for you to get your loved one into a Nursing Home. These are some signs and reasons elderly go to Nursing Homes:
- The treatment for a health condition requires 24/7 care.
- Their chronic health problems like cancer or Alzheimer’s disease are getting worse.
- They fail to follow scheduled medications.
- They can’t take care of themselves or perform basic daily activities.
- They need assistance to walk or move.
- They get injured frequently.
- It takes a long time to recover after getting hurt.
- They get lost often.
- You notice frequent emotional outbursts in them.
- They keep themselves isolated and withdrawn.
- Caring for a loved one affects your mental health and well-being.
- You can’t afford the cost of caring at home.
How do you convince your parents to move to a Nursing Home?
Making that decision and having “the” talk with your parents is already an emotional and challenging situation. In addition, if they refuse to seek Nursing Home care, then convincing them to move to a Nursing Home can be one of the most difficult tasks.
You may wonder about what to do when elderly parents refuse to move. You may have been thinking of different ways to persuade them and get them to a Nursing Home or Convalescent Home.
In some other cases, your parents may already live in an assisted living community. These facilities enable them to live fairly independently with like-minded seniors while their daily needs are taken care of. But with age, their health can start deteriorating. Shifting them to a nursing care home seems ideal, yet your parents may not want to shift to a hospital-like environment.
12 proven and effective ways to move your parents to nursing homes:
Try to understand their point of view
Talk to them with an open mind and try to understand their arguments and objections with patience, compassion, and kindness. Think about it from their shoes. This will build trust, make them feel validated, safe, and show that you care about their well-being. It usually gets complicated if they have memory loss-related diseases like Alzheimer’s or Dementia.
Be logical and present facts
You can’t make any good decision out of anger. Being logical and factual is the only way forward. If your parents are in a good mental state, list all the factual reasons they should move. Do it so that it gets difficult to argue against the move.
Share your feelings without blaming them
Parents never want to feel like a burden to their kids. So please share how you feel and how it affects you without making them feel like you are blaming them.
Explain the benefits of a Nursing Home
Many senior citizens may have negative connotations of Nursing Homes. Explain how the good facilities offer a decent number of benefits like:
- increased safety
- better physical care
- fewer/no responsibilities
- more opportunities to make new friends
- access to fun activities
- more meaningful and enjoyable interactions with family
Please don’t make it look like you are forcing your parents to move, or else it may propagate in a negative direction. It is a slow process. Talk to them about it from time to time by staying calm. Avoid rushing this conversation.
Have frequent conversations
Announcing the idea suddenly may catch your parent(s) by surprise. It may hurt them and make them feel unwanted. Instead, you should slowly discuss your concerns with them and carry the conversation respectfully. Have frequent discussions about this move and gradually persuade them.
Assurance of communication
Your parents may have lived in this specific house/community. It is obvious not to want to move to a different place filled with strangers. It would be best to assure your parents that you will be in touch with them often and so that they can communicate with you anytime. When they know you are constantly thinking of them, they will feel less emotional and may become convinced to move to a nursing home.
Show them positive testimonials
Ask the people you know who live in such a facility to share their experiences and positive testimonials. There are plenty of videos on the internet showing the positive reviews and aspects of Nursing Homes. You can show them those videos.
Bring a Third-party into the conversation
You can consider bringing in a third party in this conversation. Sometimes parents don’t tend to listen to their kids no matter how mature and old the kids are. Third-party can be anyone trustworthy, credible, or close to your parents. It could be a close relative/family member, a trusted friend, pastor, or doctor. People sometimes pay more attention to the advice of someone other than the primary caregiver.
Give them a tour of a Senior Living Facilities
If they still refuse, try to convince them to go to a few facilities with you. Show how their preconceived views on Nursing Homes are wrong. Engage them with fun activities and get them to talk to some of the residents. It may help you change their mind.
Bargain with your parents
If all fails, you can try to bargain with your parents, a phenomenon very famously called “compassionate deception.” You can try to convince them to give it a try for a week. Then you can stretch it to two weeks and more gradually until they adapt to the new environment and become permanent. This is usually the case for patients with dementia and other cognitive diseases.
Consult an elder care lawyer
If none of the above works out, then you can consider consulting an elder care lawyer as a last resort. The lawyer can help you acquire legal guardianship, which will allow you to decide where your parents live. One thing to note is that the law varies from state to state, so you must make all your confusion clear with the lawyer before taking further steps. But you must remember that you should only do this as your last resort when your parents hurt themselves or others.
When you notice a tendency of self-harm or if they have already hurt themselves or others, then contact law enforcement right away. The law enforcement will help you take them for evaluation and move them to nursing homes.
Suppose you don’t want to be involved in court/law enforcement. In that case, you can at least consider other types of facilities such as Home Care or specialized Assisted Living.
Deciding on moving your parents to a Nursing home is already difficult, and trying to convince them can become one of the most challenging situations you may encounter. But it’s important to realize that they can also have their perceptions and wants. So instead of pushing/coercing them into moving, you must do your best to convince them with kindness, compassion, and patience.
If you need any assistance on how to choose a Nursing Home, contact us at 877-409-0666 or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org. BoomersHub’s Nursing home local advisors will cater to you with all your requirements.