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St. Patrick’s Day: 30 Happy Jokes and Quotes for Seniors

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Last Updated on October 5, 2021 by ashley.davis

What Do You Wish Someone on St. Patrick’s Day? 

You could greet someone by simply saying Happy St Patrick’s Day. You can also choose to wish someone traditionally by saying ‘Beannachtai na Féile Pádraig dhuit!”, which means that you’re bestowing blessings onto the person that you are wishing. 

What Does Wearing Green on St. Patrick’s Day Mean? 

There are two beliefs. The first is that wearing green on St Patrick’s Day originated in the U.S when several Irish immigrants arrived in the country to build a better life. Wearing green was particularly prevalent during the great famine when Irish immigrants began to wear the color whilst waving the Irish flag. And then there’s the traditional belief that if you don’t wear green on St Patrick’s Day, a fairy or leprechaun might pinch you.

You may have celebrated St. Patrick’s Day many times before, but we’d like to help you make this year’s celebrations extra special. We’ve compiled some of the funniest St. Patrick’s jokes and quotes for you to share with your friends and family. This year, you’re going to be the life of the party. 

How often have you heard the very same jokes being told at the bar or during family events? It’s time for a new wave of jokes to make its way to you. St. Paddy’s is a special day, and we’d like to give you a few more fun banter to make the party something worth remembering. 

Did you miss out on our Super Bowl jokes? Be sure to catch up on them! 

Let’s Get Started with a Few Classic St. Patrick’s Day Jokes…

These traditional jokes are great icebreakers at any St Paddy’s party. So, dig in and memorize them, and you’ll be the life of the party! 

1. The Proposal

A jolly Irishman called McAlly decided to propose to his lass. The sun was shining, and the clouds were blue. It was a perfect day to celebrate St Patrick’s Day and propose. McAlly’s lass was excited and absolutely loved the ring that McAlly had given her. It was a synthetic diamond, but McAlly’s Lass was none the wiser. McAlly’s lass rushed over to her father, a jeweler, and showed him her ring. Her father took one look at the ring and told her that it wasn’t a real diamond. McAlly’s lass protested against her father and said that McAlly’s not cheap. When McAlly’s soon-to-be father-in-law asked why he had bought such a cheap ring, McAlly replied, “It’s St Paddy’s day.” it was an honor to receive such a glorious proposal on such a wonderful day. I gave your daughter a Shamrock!” 

2. Always On Time

A professor of Literature, who happened to be Irish, attended a conference in Spain. At the conference, he met a Spanish host. The Spanish host asked the Irish Professor if he knew of any Gaelic words that have similar meanings to the Spanish word mañana. The professor replied and said that he could think of 5 words similar to the word mañana – but none of them would have quite the same sense of urgency. Because in Ireland, there’s no need to rush – ‘We sing songs with our bulls, especially on St Paddy’s Day!”  

3. Googly Eyes

The barman says to Paddy, “Your glass is empty. It looks like you could do with another. Would you like another one?”

Paddy looks puzzled and replies, “Ey, why would I want another empty glass?!” 

Quick Picks

A few quick St Patrick’s Day jokes to get everyone dubbing over with laughter…

4.

Q: Why do leprechauns go outside? 

A: They enjoy sitting on their paddy-o’s

5. 
Q: Which bow can’t you tie up? 

A: A rainbow
6. 
Q: What kind of music do leprechauns enjoy the most? 

A: Shamrock ‘n roll
7. 
Q: What do the paranormal drink on St Paddy’s day? 

A: Boooooooooos 
8.
Q: Which spiders come from Ireland? 

A: Paddy long legs
9.
Q: At what time does a leprechaun cross the street? 

A: When the street turns green, for go!

10.
Q: What do you get when you merge Father Christmas and St Paddy?

A: you get Santa O OOh’Claus
11.
Q: What cereal do leprechauns love? 

A: Lucky Charms
12.
Q: Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?

A:  St. Patrick was too lazy to walk. 


Have a look at this inspirational St. Paddy’s day Guinness ad.

14.
Q:  What did an Irish Boogey-man say to the other Irish Boogey-man?

A: Did you invite St Paddy? He’ll be the life of the party!
15.
Q: What instrument does a braggot play on St. Patrick’s Day?

A: Brag-pipes

We’re on a roll…

Here are a few St Patrick’s Day quotes to keep you going!

Get to know these jokes well, and you’ll have a funny comeback for anyone on St Paddy’s day. It’s worth a listen and worth remembering. So, have your fill, you won’t be sorry. 


16, Pub Escapade

Who has the best time in the Pub? 

The group of men wearing the green hats sitting in the corner and minding their own business has the best time in the pub. That’s because on St Paddy’s Day, each time the barman yawns and turns his back, they get a shot of whatever they please!

17. The Chicken 

Larry walked into a bar, ”Oh Hier bartender, pour me a glass of rum – I had a fight with me lass. The barman replied, “Oh deary, how did this fight end?’ 

“Well, it ended alright. And when it did, she came to me begging,” said Larry. 

“Really?” said the barman. “That’s strange! What did your lass say?” 

Larry whimpered, ”She said, come out, you little chicken.”

18. Only a handful

There are only a few Irish Lawyers on the other side of the river Thames? Well, not many of them could pass the bar. 

19. False Teeth

“Hello, Molly. How are your new false teeth?” asked Leah. 

“I’m going to leave them out for a while, well, at least until I get used to wearing them,” said Molly.

Watch the world celebrate St Patrick’s Day here. 

20. Feeling Ill?

“Oh, Mally died the other day,” said Joey. “Do you know what his last words were?” asked Matt.

“Oh deary, yeah, I heard he looked to the sky and called for St Paddy!” 

21. Business Card Business

Do you know the reason why Irish business people print their names on both sides of their business cards? They do this so that there is no chance that they will get lost.

22. River Riddle

Two lads stood on either side of the river Lee. The first lad called to the other, ”How do I get to the other side of the river?” The second lad answered, “Ey, you’re already on the other side!”

23. Lefty

Did you hear about Gary? The lad who was born with two left feet? Well, he went out to buy some flip flips!

24. Don’t trust a leprechaun

Do you know why you should never borrow a few quid from a leprechaun? You’d best be careful, because if you do, you may run a little short!

Who’s Your Paddy?

Let’s end off with some more Q & A action. 

These are super short St. Patrick’s Day jokes, but they’ll get you rolling over in no time. 


25.

Q: What bow can’t be tied? 

A: A rainbow

26.

Q: Is it possible to iron a four-leaf closer? 

A: No, it’s not possible because you shouldn’t press your luck!


27.

Q: Where can you find a pot of gold?

A: you can find it in the dictionary.

28.

Q: Why don’t alligators and grasshoppers celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? 

A: They don’t have to because they wear green, which makes every day St Paddy’s Day. 


29.

Q: How did the leprechaun reach the pot of gold before the Irishman? 

A: The leprechaun took the shortcut. 


30.

Knock, Knock? 

Who’s there? 

It’s me, Irish, open up!

Irish, who? 

Irish you a happy ol’ St Paddy’s Day! 

Conclusion 

Now that you’re stocked up on St. Patrick’s Day jokes, you’re ready for a wonderful celebration. Let us know how it went by commenting in the comment box below. Or share a few of your favorite St. Patrick’s jokes. It’s always great to share a laugh and a smile. We hope you enjoyed our jokes. We’ll have a fresh batch of St. Patrick’s jokes for you next year. Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Enjoy the celebrations! 

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